The Rowe Family Blog

I went to the pool again last night where a friend patiently attempted to teach me to swim.  Swimming isn’t much fun right now but that’s because I don’t know how to do it right.  Once I learn I can imagine that it might be fun.  Until then I’ll try to be patient.

I will attempt Day 2 (200m walk, 200 jog, for 1600m) again tonight.  I am seeing the doctor again tomorrow so I think another attempt at running is in order.  At least that way all of the pain/discomfort (if any) will be fresh in my mind.

I’m trying to be patient and positive and I don’t think I’m doing very well.

I didn’t run yesterday and I don’t plan to run at all today.  Yesterday I did a couple of upper body weight workouts (one at lunch, one in the evening).  I’m leaning towards not running at all until speaking with my doctor again on Thursday morning.  At this point a few days really doesn’t matter to me.  I’ve been “not running” for so long that it really just doesn’t matter.  I don’t care about running a fall marathon much less attempting to break 3 hours.  At this point I long for the feeling I get when I’m mid way through a long run and that feeling takes over.  It’s a feeling where everything is right.  I can run incredibly fast and feel absolutely on top of the world.  I long for the feeling of exhaustion (which is actually a wonderful feeling) after a good workout.  Cycling for 4.5 hours this Sunday made me tired but I never felt even remotely close to how I feel when I run.  The most significant feeling I had while cycling was boredom.

There is good and bad with everything.  I’ve been trying, and failing, to be positive.  These are some things that are positive about this experience:

• It could be worse.  This isn’t ending my running career.  It’s a temporary break.
• I don’t really think I’ll lose that much fitness.  I’ll lose some but I bet I can get it back pretty quickly.
• My expectations have been reset.  I was expecting too much out of myself and with that comes disappointment.
• I’ve been brutally reminded of how much I really love running.  Running is a huge part of me that I think only other runners can understand.
• It’s dangerous to put all of your eggs in one basket.  (see the preceding bullet point).  There are other things that can be enjoyable.  I’m hoping to learn to swim and I think I’ll like that.
• This time off has given the rest of my body complete time to heal.
• I don’t have any mileage goals for this year anymore.  Once I can run again all I want to do is run without pain.   That’s a liberating feeling.

Yesterday I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to run today or not.  The bone is tender to the touch (again) so I will not be running on it today.  I might try tomorrow but I’m starting to lean towards not running on it at all until I see the doctor again on Thursday.  I think I should be better off than I am but maybe I’m being too sensitive about the pain.  I’m scared of setting myself back as I want nothing more than to be out running again.  I’m afraid to run because if I run I might not be able to run!  Heh.  Jogging 1600 meters isn’t running to me.  Running 50 miles per week is running and I miss it dearly.

Last night I repeated the Day 2 workout.  That’s 200 meters walking and then 200 meters jogging for a total of 1600 meters.  My leg felt great before the workout.  I could press on the bone with no pain.  In short it felt completely normal.  That all changed during the “run.”  Just like the other workouts it felt a little uncomfortable.  By the end it was aching.  It continued to ache for 30 minutes and then largely went away.  By the next day (today) the bone is tender again.

Should I really be on this at all?  Am I ever going to heal?  It feels like I’m not making any forward progress.

This morning my FSF feels pretty good.  It may actually feel the best it’s felt.  There is essentially no tenderness on the bone.  I can press on the bone as hard as I want with no discomfort.  I’m planning to do a little jog tonight.  I can’t decide if I’m going to repeat Day 2 or move to Day 3.  I’m leaning towards Day 2 because Day 3 doubles the distance to 3200 meters (about 2 miles).  I had enough lingering discomfort from Day 2 that I’m scared to move on.  Not only does Day 3 double the overall distance but it includes 800 meters of jogging at one time.  That frightens me.  I really do not want to delay my healing (except that it would give me more time to learn to swim).

I rode 21 miles yesterday and that was OK.  My knee started to be noticeable after about 15 miles but it wasn’t bad.  I won’t be riding tonight so the rest will help.  I should probably stay off of John’s bike until it gets adjusted.  I don’t have knee pain when I ride on my (super old and somewhat unsafe) bike.

My FSF still aches.  I’m really questioning if I should be attempting these “runs”.  The doctor said I’d be fine to do it but then why does it hurt like it does?  Is this even a SF?  Why can I hop up and down on it and experience zero pain but after I do a super light and super short jog it aches for days?

My mood and outlook is sinking.

I was very happy yesterday.  Everything was going well.  I did “Day 2″ of the recovery plan which included 1600 meters with 800 of them being jogged.  That “workout” felt much like Day 1.  My FSF ached a little but not much.  The ache diminished over a short period of time.  I was very encouraged because that was twice the running distance as the first day.

Later that night after the “run” I went to the pool to try deep water running and maybe learn to swim a little.  I ran in the water for just over an hour.  I am not a fan of this.  It was nearly impossible to get my heart rate up.  I could increase it slightly but I had to focus very hard on moving my limbs at a very high rate of speed.  Maybe I did something wrong because this just wasn’t a good workout at all.  I had resistance on my ankles and two flotation belts.  It was boring, time consuming, and didn’t feel effective in any way.

Discouraged by the lack of exercise I asked my good friends to start teaching me to swim.  I performed some drills and did OK in the short period of time that we had.  I got more exercise from (pseudo) swimming a half lap than I did from one hour of water running.  I also enjoyed swimming.  If I can learn to do it properly I might end up really enjoying it.

My FSF felt good in the pool.  I walked my fingers along the bone and felt little tenderness.  Sleeping was a different story.  I’m not certain that the FSF caused enough pain to keep me awake but I was certainly aware of it many times through the evening.  It’s not an acute pain, just a dull ache.  It aches as I type this.  I’m discouraged again.

For the last couple of days I’ve been disappointed at my apparent lack of improvement.  I know it takes time to heal a bone injury.  It’s easy to know something but completely different to apply it to your own situation.  Many people “know” how to eat right, or at least think they do, but they still don’t do it.

Anyhow yesterday was great!  The tenderness greatly decreased and I felt absolutely nothing out of the ordinary while walking.  I’m going to attempt day 2 of the recovery plan today.  I think that is 200 meters walking and 200 meters jogging for 1600 meters.

This weekend I “ran.” I easily passed the hop test for three days in a row.  I took the conservative route and gave myself one additional day of rest.  Then it was off to the track!

I walked briskly for 300 meters and then jogged very slowly all while wearing the air cast.  The first 100 m jog was OK.  After that I was noticing pain and it concerned me.  By the end I was rather disappointed.  I am not sure if these runs are supposed to be 100% pain free or not.  I am not the conservative type but I badly want to be running again and I’d rather miss a few days of running than risk missing a few weeks of running.  After the wog (walk/jog) my fracture area ached.  I worried and sulked while on my bike.

After about 30 minutes the aching in my leg disappeared and it felt better than ever for that afternoon.  In the evening it ached again but not as badly.

I’m afraid that the FSF isn’t any better after three weeks.  Sure, the 1 mile test run set me back, but I’m concerned that maybe this isn’t a SF.   I think I could have passed a hop test on day zero.  What else could cause such severe localized pain in my tibia?

To make my mood even worse I had to abort my long ride on Sunday due to knee pain.  I sound like such a baby but I could not pedal through that pain.  Next I will be attempting to  exercise in a pool.  If there is a way to injure yourself swimming I bet I’ll find it.

The secret to training is to train.  I can’t train right now.  Instead of making forward progress I’ll be lucky if I can even maintain my current level of fitness.   I’ve “earned” myself a tibial stress fracture or FSF as I like to call it.  I keep asking myself “how did this happen?” and “what do I do now?”  Read on for partial answers.

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